Thursday, October 21, 2010

Proverbs 31:10-11

P31:10: "An excellent wife who can find? She is more precious than jewels."

first of all, no one finds their wife. at least not when the couple listens to God. I don't believe that it was by luck that husband and i are together, but only by the grace of God.

"more precious than jewels"
godly women are valuable. they will raise godly children and serve a godly husband. i know husband finds me valuable, but is it for the right reasons? is it because i make his lunch, or because i am a good wife and make his lunch willingly and bless it in the mornings?

P31:11: "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain."

a godly woman is trusted by her husband to run the household, to make daily decisions. he doesn't have to check over her shoulders to make sure things are going as planned. he has his items to worry about, and it is her job to take care of the "other things".

i think i have this one pretty well. husband and i have a very open line of communication, so there's never a feeling that i'm holding something from him. he trusts me. he trusts me to run our finances, pay bills on time, have food on the table, and provide a comfortable environment in our house.

he trusts me to be honest in all that we talk about, including my stress level lately. maybe he trusts me too much for this. he trusts me to tell him where i need help (grading papers? making dinner?), and i often go about it myself, telling him "i'm fine, i've got it covered". he wants to help, i know he does. but i've got this weird idea that if i don't do it all, i'm failing. if i'm not doing homework and working and teaching and making dinner and cleaning and doing laundry and decorating for holidays, that i'm failing as a wife. but it shouldn't be about any of that. it should be about me trusting in my husband also, that he's able to help me.

4 comments:

  1. There is a whole heck of alot more going on these days, than women in the bible days had it. A WHOLE HECK OF ALOT. Your husband understands this I'm sure, and is willing to help you balance your lives. I'm certain that you are also taking on some of the male duties that god would have once put out for a man to do. Consider this!

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  2. This scares me. I have a friend who read and lives by the book Excellent Wife and to me, she is a door mat. I love my husband, I would NEVER consider cheating on him or intentionally hurting him, I also will not bend to his every whim with no spine. Somewhere in the scheme of things, there has to be an excellent husband too. I'm lucky, and Kenny, he is tolerant and that makes me even more lucky. ♥

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  3. I agree that these times are a bit different. And I think that women tend to take on more than they really have to. Are we trying to prove how good we are? Are we trying to show the world what a good P31 we are? And men, good men, will see that we could use a little help, and offer. Not because they think we can't handle it, but because they want to honor us. We should be willing to let the control thing go sometimes, and let them help. That is part of loving a wife as Christ loves the church. In MHO. So Erin, my sweet, can do it all Erin, sometimes they NEED to help us. Don't be so focused, that you diss the hubs. I've learned to let go of some of the control, and let my husband feel good about helping me for a change....get it? It makes him feel like he's doing the right thing. It's kinda like allowing your children to help in the kitchen, even though you really want to make sure it's all done, and done correctly. They need that feeling of helping. How do you feel about that? I might have gone against the grain here.

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  4. I don't believe that the Bible tells us to be doormats. I feel like the Proverbs 31 woman is a strong woman. She does things to provide for her family and is a pillar in the community. That doesn't sound like a doormat to me.

    Yes, things were different back in Biblical times but that doesn't necessarily mean that the Bible doens't apply to us or that it's outdated.

    I agree with Mom in that you sometimes have to let the guys/kids help you for their sake. Chris needs to help you, not only for your benefit, but for his. You will eventually settle into "roles" by figuring out who is better at what. Maburn takes out the trash and cleans the litter box (among other things). I cook and do the laundry. We both load and unload the dishwasher. I do all things baby because the baby is more attached to me right now. But he's starting to be more independent so Maburn will eventually help out more with that. Anyway...you get my drift. Let him help you, for both your sake. You are not a lesser woman if you don't "do it all."

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